I just wanted to be someone else's wife.

Is that too much to ask?

sa panahon na lumisan sa lupang niyayapakan mo,

hindi kita ni minsan man naalala.


inakala kong hindi ngunit
kaya ko pala

na kumawala sa iyong sumpa.




kahit sandali lamang.

January 1, 2011

I want to shut of my eyes, but how can I? I promised myself to write everything under the sun prior to this day. But promises are meant to be broken…






What a year to end. And what year to start? Another life to be bored about.






I don’t know what I want. I want less complications. But not without one.






In short, I just want to be a normal person.






In retrospect, there are some things that was learnt. And to look back, all I can say is that I became the person that I wouldn’t want. I dare to be untidy, unorganized and laid back. It does good and bad at the same time.






In God’s time, I will experience how it is to be normal. How I feels to be free.

April 6 is my deathday.

I felt extreme sadness and I dont know why. What is on April 5? It seems to be an ordinary day. With list of to do activities, presumption of lates and disappointments. Yup, I am a bad student driver. Literally and probably figuratively. Worst, after 3 years, an unexpected enuresis recurrs. And the gloom persisted until I woke up.

4AM. Usually, this is the time I sleep. (I dont know why, but I'm kept awake until the wee hours of the morning.) But today, its my waking time.

Then I remembered. According to my dream exactly a year ago, today is my death day.

On what year, that I do not know.

But for sure, I don't think it is this year.

I just know.

I want someone whom I can call my own (and not someone else's).

Even I tell myself that this "kahibangan" is all over, i think its not. From time to time, in a bad way to start the day by openning my social account, i can feel pain. The enviness of not being in that place. The enviness and sadness why I dont have it. Am I not deserving? Or maybe God has something better for me?

I just think it that way. I'll have someone better.

I just hope sooner. But for now, I hate the feeling of bitterness.

Hello

We have nothing to say to each other
except the word hello.

(You greeted me with hello and I replied with hi.
Isn't it that the hi should come first before the hello?)

I won the battle through faith.

I won the battle through faith
Glory to the highest!

Time to leave the love behind.